The Portfolios

First Halloween in America together

Last night we drove into Ridgewood to have dinner with my old buddy Chris and his girlfriend Ulrika. They have been living together in Waldwick for the last two years. The way we got together was kind of funny: about a month ago, Xianyi and I were eating at Fratelli’s when I turned and saw Chris with his mom and stepdad; we walked over to say hi and exchange numbers. After a lot of back and forth, we finally set a dinner date.

Chris has been selling textbooks to schools while he gets he teacher certificate training, and he was lamenting the fact that many of his professors have told him the job market is tough and getting tougher. This lines up with my mom’s experience; she has found it difficult to break into the area public schools. But it doesn’t match the popular idea that the schools are underfunded and understaffed, so maybe that’s a myth - or maybe it’s easy to get a job in a school that no one wants to work in, and hard to get into the good schools. Most likely.

Ulrika is soon getting out of her current line of work to go into the pharmaceutical industry. She will be working on drug development and she can’t wait to get started.

It all echoes our experience: young people trying to get the work they want, trying to get started in life. We had a nice time and the food at Ridge Thai was good, though we prefer Taste of Thai around the corner.

Which brings me to the title of this post - it has been raining more or less all week. Making up for the long, long summer, I suppose. I only worked on Wednesday - yesterday my dad got the time of his round wrong and I ended up late for his loop, then it rained all night into this morning so I figured the club had to be closed and slept in. I hope I was right. Meanwhile, I think I am getting close to leaving the caddying business - there is a company that seems very interested in me. But more on that later if it works out.

Last week I was driving a bit fast on the Parkway and got zapped by a State Trooper - 80 in a 55 = a $220 fine and four points, apparently. Which is not too cool. After getting some free advice from one of the guys at Hackensack, I’m going to show up in court and try to pay down the points.

So I got over to mom’s to pick up some mail and say hi - and I find I have no fewer than nine letters from lawyers offering their assistance in the case. It seems that the “Open Public Records Act (NJSA 47:1A-1) shows that [I] have been charged for violating NJSA 39:4-98.29 (Exceeding By 25-29mph) in the Clifton County Municipal Court.” These guys obviously troll the public records looking for new clients, which, in my humble opinion, doesn’t exactly recommend them as outstanding lawyers.

All these attorneys offer free consultations, but also make it clear that they accept ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS. Thanks, but I don’t think so.

The U.S is huge, many places are beautiful, many people are nice.

People say this country has too many fat people. That’s not true, because there is one thing is even bigger than that- Women’s fake breasts! Ridiculously hard, big, round, tall and straight breasts are everywhere on young and old women’s chest. They’re quite a view.

My biggest problem is I don’t know how to talk to a woman who has fake breasts, because I can’t concentrate my attention on the woman’s face or eyes, my attention will move to the chest unconsciously, I’m so sorry about my behaviour, just can’t help it. Seriously, I’m not a sex mania. They look gross to me if I look them more than 5 seconds.

Maybe some women will say it’s because of men, they expect to date a big breasts woman, that’s why we women do it, we do it for men, it’s all men’s fault! Men, men, poor men, you can never run away from women’s rebuke severely. Glad I wasn’t a man. If I was a man, I wish my girl’s breasts are soft, normal, healthy and real.

I wish all women’s breasts are well! If you want to take the junk out of your air bags, go talk to your doctor immediately.